Why Your Child Keeps Getting Benched (And It’s Not Their Fault)
I was chatting with another parent yesterday and she said something that really hit home
“I’m so tired of watching my kid sit on the bench. We’ve tried three different sports, and it’s the same thing every time.”
Do you ever feel the same way?
I hear this a lot.
Over the last 10 years working with kids, I have seen this over and over
Parents look worn out
They spend hours in the car, drop money on gear and sign-up fees,
but when the season starts… their kid ends up sitting and watching, not playing.
The hardest part?
Parents blame themselves.
They think maybe they’re doing something wrong.
Like it’s their job to find THE sport that will finally “fit” for their child.
There’s something nobody really says out loud:
Most sports teams are made for kids who already run fast or have good instincts for the game.
If your child isn’t that way at first? It’s tough before they even get started.
Stop and think for a second—
Have you ever seen a coach teach kids how to bounce back from mistakes?
Or teach them how to focus when they’re nervous?
Usually, it doesn’t happen.
Kids are thrown out there and told to “just play.”
What’s the problem with that?
So many teams only pay attention to physical skills
(and even then, only if your child already “looks the part” or catches on quick).
But what about:
• Mental toughness
• Handling frustration
• Being social or speaking up
• Seeing growth in themselves
Most coaches hope kids will just “pick up” these things.
But honestly, that’s not how most kids learn.
If your child isn’t the “typical” athlete, they get left behind
—not just on the field, but in how they feel.
Kids end up thinking
“I’m just bad at sports.”
Bad at sports often turns into
“I’m not good at anything.”
That’s when you start to see them pull away
Avoiding new stuff
Talking less around adults
Maybe even acting like they want to disappear when things get hard
So, what do you do?
It isn’t about trying sport after sport.
It’s about finding something that helps your child grow confidence
no matter how athletic they are (or aren’t).
Look for a place where:
– Effort matters more than being the best
– Kids practice with partners, not big teams where they feel lost
– Everyone grows at their own pace
– Coaches and staff care about helping kids feel proud about small wins
– Things like focus, emotions, and social skills are actually taught
Feel like you’re failing because your child hates sports or sits the bench?
You’re not.
Traditional sports are not built for every kid.
There are other options that build real confidence—and help your child feel comfortable and proud.
The way your child feels about themselves right now
matters for the rest of life.
Middle school drama
High school challenges
Making friends in college
Even struggles at work—confidence starts now.
Ready for something different?
If you’re tired of seeing your child struggle, maybe it’s time to try a new way.
Every child deserves a chance to see how strong, kind, and capable they really are—when they have coaches and friends who believe in them.
Your child matters. They deserve to shine.